Incredible. We discussed your feelings about how you left things with John - but this essay is pure self awareness in addition to exceptional literature. I winced just like Doug...wow. To have carried this for years is a heavy load - but to have learned so much from it is the height of being human.
Been waiting for this one. That picture of John breaks my heart. Such a loss. The repression around sexuality during our high school years and in our social circle was so deep, that "nobody was gay"... until they went to college. So I understand your denial around this. I also can relate to tensions with some high school female friends that made so much sense when I eventually learned they were gay. Was the ignorance willful or something else? And I remember how, when the word got out that John was gay, one of our mothers refused to accept his sexuality, and even suggested that we should somehow seduce him into being straight. The last time I saw him, gaunt from his illness, was at my wedding about a year before he died. I loved John and miss him to this day. Thanks for this.
Oh Jeff, what a moving and beautiful piece you’ve shared. You capture the awkwardness of that time really well. Good heart but ham fisted. Thanks for bringing John back. He was a fine fellow as are you.
He was the best of us. Thanks so much for your support and reading this. It was teachers like you who made it possible for me to express myself. Next piece will be out in a few weeks.
I wish you could too. He was the best. So inspiring. Please share with anyone else you know who knew John. Today is the 35th anniversary of his passing. I can't but help think he had a hand in my posting this today.
Thank you for this powerful piece of writing and memoir. The regret you expressed is deep and real and your telling of the story helps me (all of us) deal with our own regrets for commissions and omissions. We can only do better when we know better. Again, thank you.
Thanks Toni. I really appreciate your reading it. John’s story needs to be told by anybody who knew him. He was an extraordinary person, like so many of the people who left us far too young.
Incredible. We discussed your feelings about how you left things with John - but this essay is pure self awareness in addition to exceptional literature. I winced just like Doug...wow. To have carried this for years is a heavy load - but to have learned so much from it is the height of being human.
Thanks Stephen. I am glad you liked it. It was tough to write.
Been waiting for this one. That picture of John breaks my heart. Such a loss. The repression around sexuality during our high school years and in our social circle was so deep, that "nobody was gay"... until they went to college. So I understand your denial around this. I also can relate to tensions with some high school female friends that made so much sense when I eventually learned they were gay. Was the ignorance willful or something else? And I remember how, when the word got out that John was gay, one of our mothers refused to accept his sexuality, and even suggested that we should somehow seduce him into being straight. The last time I saw him, gaunt from his illness, was at my wedding about a year before he died. I loved John and miss him to this day. Thanks for this.
My heart will always be broken over this. I wish I was a better person.
You ARE a better person.
Thanks Lydia. It was a worse time then. John was a fine fellow and shouldn’t have died.
Excellent and thank you. Brave of you to share your friendship with John. I think he'd be honored and grateful.
Thank you for saying so. I hope he would too.
Oh Jeff, what a moving and beautiful piece you’ve shared. You capture the awkwardness of that time really well. Good heart but ham fisted. Thanks for bringing John back. He was a fine fellow as are you.
He was the best of us. Thanks so much for your support and reading this. It was teachers like you who made it possible for me to express myself. Next piece will be out in a few weeks.
I really wish I could share your piece with Steve.
I wish you could too. He was the best. So inspiring. Please share with anyone else you know who knew John. Today is the 35th anniversary of his passing. I can't but help think he had a hand in my posting this today.
Thank you for this powerful piece of writing and memoir. The regret you expressed is deep and real and your telling of the story helps me (all of us) deal with our own regrets for commissions and omissions. We can only do better when we know better. Again, thank you.
Thanks Toni. I really appreciate your reading it. John’s story needs to be told by anybody who knew him. He was an extraordinary person, like so many of the people who left us far too young.